Monday, August 14, 2006

Catching up on NBA news

It's been 13 days since my last post, and I'm going to come clean: I feel guilty. It's not like we have any Blazer news to report, but there are a few NBA-related items to discus -- and I'm ready to discuss 'em. So i'm coming out guns blazing here, and let's knock these bitches out item-by-item.

Oh, and for some reason the web browser on the Mac that i'm writing this on (new job and hence new computer) won't allow me to bold or bullett or do any of those sexy things that you all love so much so you'll have to deal with plain text again, as if it were the blogs of 1998. (ugh)

1. Richardson-Miles Rumor: "Wow, a deal almost happened"

Yawn. I have a feeling we'll be hearing a new Miles rumor every month until he gets dealt this coming January or February. And contrary to my blog partner (and let me emphasize this again: blog partner; nothing more and nothing less), I do not think Miles will get dealt prior to the season. No, I don't live in Portland and No, I don't experience the hostility and negativity that everyone feels towards him -- of which I am a part of this group, do not mistake -- first hand. But here's the problem: Portland simply can't get anything for him right now. I see this Miles thing playing out one of three ways:

-He plays well for a few months this coming season, and Portland deals him for a nice part
-He plays like garbage, and Portland either sells him off at forty cents on the dollar or ends up releasing him
-He has nights where he plays well, and nights where he looks totally out of touch, and Portland deals him for a mediocre part

I think we all know what the likely scenario is: there is about a 60% chance that #3 happens. I'm sorry to say it but I think it has to be said.

2. The Atlanta Hawks: "Throwing up all over themselves for 20 years and counting!"

I love this deal, because it's so indicative of Atlanta's pure inadequacy. The Hawks are sending their best player -- Al Harrington -- along with their backup center to the Indiana Pacers for .... nothing. That's right, nothing. Well, nothing right now. They're getting Indiana's first round pick next season, which will likely be in the 16-20 range. To put that in perspective for you, here are some of the wonderful players who have gone in between 16 and 20 for the past three drafts: Joey Graham, Kirk Snyder, Dorrell Wright, Troy Bell, Zarko Cabarkapa, Dahntay Jones, Alexander Pavlovic. Wow. That's quite a haul for a guy who is as versatile and as good a scorer as Harrington. Congratulations, Hawks fans: your front office just made the second-dumbest move of the offseason for the third year in a row. Have fun with that.

3. Team USA

I'll admit it, I've fallen completely for the myopia. I am full-on rooting for this team and I fully expect them to win the whole shebang. Yes it's only the World Championships, but let's not forget that it was the World Championships that derailed this whole thing four years ago so we might as well use it to get back on track as well. Sure, the team will struggle a little bit with big men who can score both inside and out, but is there a team on the planet who wouldn't struggle with that? Nitpicking. We've got the best backcourt and the best wing players in the world. And can someone inform me exactly when Carmelo Anthony turned into a fantastic all-around multidimensional player? God damn. I haven't seen something go from "good" to "great" that fast since Jessica Alba. Oh, and by the way, as for this "groin strain" that Gilbert Arenas suffered which is holding him out from the next round? BULLSHIT. He's not hurt, he just doesn't want to suffer the indignity of being cut in favor of Kirk Heinrich. You heard it here first.

4. The Latest Knicks Fiasco

Welcome, ladies and gentelmen, to our bi-monthy play-at-home game: How Bad Can The Knicks Fuck Up Their Team This Time? Our winner: $30 million for Jared Jeffries. Totally unbelievable. I suppose though that should be about right; if Jerome James is a $40 million player. Of course, Jeffries did average 6 points and 1 assist in 25 minutes per game last year, so it makes sense that you'd want to make a big commitment to those kind of numbers. Oh, and by the way, those stats actually declined from the year before, so clearly he's a player on the rise. And did I mention that he doesn't really have a position, either? He's actually listed as a "GF" on espn's website, making that a whopping 6 combo players on New York's roster by my count (the other 5 being Crawford, Francis, Frye, Richardson, J-Rose). Nice. Seriously, every time Isaiah makes a move, it's the new "dumbest move i've seen an NBA GM make". I think he currently holds the top 15 spots on that list.

5. Poor Bonzi Wells: Still Homeless

I know it's hard to believe, but Bonzi Wells can't seem to find a team willing to meet his unrealistic contract demands. (Insert joke about Knicks here). Supposedly the Nuggets are talking to the Kings about a sign-and-trade, but the problem is that the Nuggets don't want to give bonzi the five years and $50 million he's asking for. NO! You mean someone doesn't want to give 17% of their cap space to an underachieving a-hole who spits on other players and is disliked by the entire league? Shocking. Also, is it just me or are the Nuggets turning into the new Mavericks? It seems like every freakin' free agent or player demanding a trade gets linked to them.

6. Blazers' Ownership Situation

This is a tough one to figure out. With two straight years of cost-cutting-at-all-costs, piss-poor on court play and having it fed down our throats that Portland is losing money left and right, it's hard to be excited about the news that we won't be getting a new owner any time soon. And with the shenanigans going on up in Seattle along with Paul Allen's obvious ties to the region, it's scary to learn about his sudden lack of interest in selling the team following that news to the north. That said, I don't think we're in dire straits yet. All indications seemed to point out that the events of this year's draft (which I believe will constitute a turning point in Portland's fortunes; both on and off the court) were reinvigorating to Paul Allen. And who knows? Maybe he is back into it again, and is willing to spend a little cashola on the club now that we aren't chock full of dickheads. Or maybe he is eyeing a potential move up to Seattle. Who knows. I'm staying cautiously optimistic about the whole thing right now, and at this point I'll take that feeling.

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